So....in a haze of anxiety and frustration (BOOO COLLEGE!)
I decided to take a day and relax myself with a good read.

I was aiming for a book from my moms collection, But I ended up picking up "Paradise kiss" from my closet in a box

The last time I picked it up I was in Middle school, and I remember being so angry and frustrated at the ending

Now that im older, I realize what a beautiful ending it was. I saw the reflection of my life and beliefs carried out within the pages, and
my strive to be an independent women in this world.

and Im not gonna lie, I had tears gushin out of my eyes when I flipped to the last page XD

now I feel alot better.

yeah I know..how stupid is it for a girl almost 20 years old to gush over a manga from FOREVER ago

But then I think of the rarity of ppl these days pushing forward for themselves instead of those who get caught up in the moment; to fallow the crowd.

I feel a sigh of relief that have something to relate to. And that Im doing everything in my power to lead a life with no regret and HOPEFULLY sucsess.

Its amazing how our views change so drastically when were older huh?

Ive come to realize something....

I know lots of people, some even comment that Im somewhat popular and outgoing

but when i think about it, none of those ppl will ever we the ones I reach to or reach to me.

If I Know lots of people...and they call me their friend...then why do I always feel so lonely :<

Has anyone else gotten that?

Maybe Im to blame, since im so easily disconnected


aahhhhh~ its obvious im in a weird contemplative mood


besides this, been busy with school almost 24/7 :< fml.


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Its not  new news but....

I RANDOMLY LOST 15 POUNDS. in like a month. WOOO SCHOOL AND LIFE STRESS. ( it also helps I run like a fat bastrad on the tredmill ince and a while)

go me.

other news:
I GOT A NEW PUPPY!
her names Jolene and she's a Toy Yorkie~ At  first I had REALLY iffy feelings for her, because im still stuck up on my other dogs
(Kimi and Johny) that have to live in Cali. But over a few days she got my heart and won me over! Shes so friggen cute it hurts!
I still miss my older babies like WOAH, but I have to face the facts that they aren't technically mine anymore :/ still love them

need to post pics of her soon

and uhhh..as always boys are wierd+stupid.

and uuhhh.......thats pretty much it, theres some friends I wanna SHOOT IN THE FOOT..but not everyone can be perfect

im also debating if I should be G-DRAGON for halloween and carry some towels sayings its GaHo

LOL K-POP I FRIGGEN LOVE YOU *choke* fo cerel I do though...

QUESTION FOR ANYBODY WHO HAS TIPS:

Okay..I have terrible dark under eye circles, so much that my eyes sink in
its much less noticeable with cover-up..but I have wearing so much all the time :<

does anybody know of a cream that ACTUALLY works for curing this? Ive used so many (cheap ones though) and none to seem to have work

I even use cold cucumber slices and ice cubes but nothing. ughghghghghg.

I know I need to sleep regulary and all that healthy stuff, Im doing that lately and I just need that extra boost of help!


other then all this: I HATE SCHOOL. BOOOO.

so umm.......

can anyone ......sum up on whats been happening with "BLEACH" ..over the last 3 years.....

I dont even know if thats even humanly possible but.....I really do like the series...i just kinda forgot to continue with weekly scanlations....




... ..like....after chapter 112. fml.

other news:  I FEEL FATT AS A WHALE...SOMEONE..HARPOOOOOOOON ME.

wow....I haven't posted in about....5 weeks?

Alot of things have taken a huge turn  for me these last few weeks.

I thuroughly enjoyed my trip to California, as usual.  But even there I was still stressed XD



But my biggest stress...was saying goodbye to my pet Pugs-lee.  Its been officially one week since his passing.

Its so odd....within a 24 hour period It went from me playing and holding him in my arms....to seeing him almost lifeless on a table.
He must have been at least 16...which means I had him for 12 years in my life.

This was the first time in my life..ive seen someone I love die in front of me. Sure, Ive had other pets pass...but never under my watch or presence. I know it sounds selfish....but I had always kind of hoped that id be back In Texas when  it happend.......

Even though it was hard, Im glad I stayed with him .....my gave never left his ...as his opened and closed his eyes for the last time. I also held his paw softly to let him know its okay, that I was there. I held it until he was offically procliamed dead.

fuck, im still crying even writting this. Not even at my own relatives funerals have I felt this much sadness.

It kills me to know I cant hold him anymore, I cant laugh at his funny antics....or that I wont see him jumping for my attention when I walk into the house.   I feel like I came back to texas broken hearted.
 

for those who knew him, he was always a delight and something to laugh over. And for those who dont....Im sad to say theyll never know now in person.

As far as other events....:

• Were finally moving, me and my mom are moving into an apartment....its much closer to my college. My mom decided and made the deal as I was still in Cali. So since I arrived Ive been trying to pack little by little.
• I myself, am trying to move out to California by next summer, me and sami decided over an apartment we liked.
• I fucked up my left foot 4 days ago....looks like ill be limping for the first day of school XD

well...thats all basically it..ive been disconnated from the interweb world socially. I havent even checked LJ in over 4 weeks...so Im sure ive missed out.

(and I havent even been on 4chan for 5 weeks..LOL feels liek a detox program...i miss you /p/ section)

wow....this is a long post. Sorry for all the sappy sadness....once again. Im hoping ill be out of this rutt soon enough.

c'ya.

 

BAD FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN BAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

But then we all have those....

BUT I WAS HOPING THAT ALL MY DAMN STRESS AND WORRY WOULD RELIVED THIS WEEKEND.

but noooooooooo.

I have such stupid friends sometimes. fo cereal.




I suggested To my friends a week ago that we all go to Moody Gardens and see how many exhibits we could get into for
25-30$ They all LOVED the idea and we were gonna pull through it this weekend.

But then I get a call today saying "we all decided we'd rather go to Video Games Live this weekend"
Im cool with the idea....but then suddenly "Oh its 50$ admission"

FML. LOL SORRY WORLD. BUT IT MAY BE EASY FOR YOU TO SHIT AN EXTRA 25$ AND MAYBE 10$ FOR FOOD AND GAS BUT LOL I CANT
Its been bad enough to get that damn 25$.

friggen ai..... I cant even see harry potter tonight, Im trying to save up money for when I leave for California next wednsday.

SO ALL IN ALL. Even thought it was my idea to do something with my friends, im left out again. fuck.
(even thought ive mentioned plenty of times im poor and im trying to save up money...)

I cant wait to go to Cali next week, i need out of this shithole life and ppl.


UGHGHGHGHGHH sorry I dont mean to bitch AGAIN, but its been just wave after another of stress, and I was SO EXCITED  and looking forward to this weekend.

whatever, ILL HAVE AN AMAZING TIME IN DISNEYLAND. hah.
EDIT: wow..reading this back....Im still such a damn kid.  Either way its still shitty  what happend...but it doesnt help that my pills prolly are making me more emotional :< dayum.

I Love it how when I lose weight....

THE FIRST THING TO GO DOWN IN SIZE ARE MAI BEWBS.

dangit.

HOW I FIX DIS?!

and other news; Ill be in California LA mid July. wee snaw  ; D im also a blonde now. durp.

AND OMFG AVATAR CONTROLS MY LIFE. WRY DID I GET INTO IT TOO LATE?!!

so....

My surgical procedure has been done and over with....

and there was ALOOOOT OF PAIN AND DISCOMFORTNESS AFTERWORDS. Lemme tell ya.  Did I mention I hate pain killers?

Its been about 2 weeks now since, and ive been In my house with no physical human contact (Cept mom....she was there to spoon feed me

sweet potato mush <3)

For the first time yesterday I was given the okay to walk outside my house for a little bit. GOD IT FELT SO GOOD.

And ive gotten paler o__o and lost..10 lbs.

I have one  more week I have to stay home and heal.

And my first plan of action once I get to the outside world :

Get myself a fuckin Margarita. MMMMMMHHHHHHHMMM.

hope people are doin good!  AND FOR THOSE WHO WENT TO FANIME: YOU SUCK. .....I kid. Hope you guys had fun (actually Im not kidding)

more people should text me. DO EET.

Surgery is Tuesday May 12th, if you need to get a hold me please text me for the next week-2 weeks.

DONT CALL PLZ. Im going to be soo drugged out up the wazoo..so im sure you WOULDN'T want to talk to me via phone.